Thus nothing she ever said contained a double-meaning, or was capable of having anything sexual read into it. Around my 18th birthday when she was 37 ...a change seemed to come over her. She began to see the world differently as if her mind was beginning to untwist. "I've lived the best of my life and now there's nothing for me to look forward to," she told me once.In her diary which I read years later she explained: "I am haunted by the vision of myself at age 18, with such hopes and dreams for. Jennifer pretends to look confused, but she knows I'm serious and is apparently intrigued herself, a good sign. I nod my head and try not to smile but a grin cracks as my excitement builds."Do you think you can handle it? It's been awhile hasn't it?" She asks, knowing full well I pleasured myself with the purple toy only a week ago."I was bad. I think I deserve it, dear." That particular term of endearment is usually annoying to her in these situations, but the intentional timidness in my. We got out of the car and walked inside. I had been in this placeone year to get Megan a little vibrator as a little going away gift afew years back. She walked me over to the dildo wall and said, "You canpick out any one of these you want. I cannot wait to seeyou suck it and use it on me tonight. Pick a good one for me."She walked away and there I stood staring at the wall of dildos.They were all different sizes. I couldn't believe that I was doingthis. I didn't know which one to get. There. Mom, Billy, Dylan, Leo. They all thought that I hadalways looked this way. Then I saw something that freaked me out evenmore. It was my chest. It felt funny. I unbuttoned my khaki shirt andpulled half of it to the side. My nipples were tender and swollen. Infact, my whole chest looked puffy. I closed my shirt and noticed that thepuffiness was visible through the material, two small, but noticeablelumps. Almost like little tits.I thought about running home or to the school nurse or to a.