The training doesn’t go away. He was big, yeah, and young, but not any bigger than me. Fact is – I had him in height and weight – so he went dow...n hard, but I’ll give it to the k**, he had a deep-seated rage which had been simmering all summer … but when you think about it, maybe his entire life.So while I had him in size and weight and experience, his muscle was fucking brutal and his rage was worse, and the next thing I know I’m in a full-on, knock-down, drag-out pounding, and while I’m. Afterwards though I was terrified that someone would find out about what I had done to her. We had a basketball the game the next night but I did not go for fear that she might say or do something that might make others realize what we had done. I spent a lot of time the next few days thinking about how to defend myself if I were to be questioned by the police. This was before DNA so it would have just been her word against mine. I even thought how the police might have her wear a recording. Courtney was transferred from the 911 center to the nonemergency duty officer at the State Police barracks. The duty officer simply said, "That because of her age Courtney had to wait 24 hours and then file a missing persons report before hanging up."The fact that Courtney had continued the investigation with out hesitation confirmed that I had made the right choice on choosing her for the Director's position at Frost Borough.The next entry was about the sheriff and his deputies stumbling on. I'd been pissed on the idea ofgetting into uniform and putting Liverpool and my shit upbringingbehind me so I was a good cadet, excelling at all the good, militarystuff the cadets get immersed in and not too bad at some of the softerstuff either. They had high hopes for me.I needed girl's company back then, even though I massivelymisinterpreted my need as sex. It was a social worker, Miss Cooper, whofirst cracked my gender certainty - not only because she was the onlyone who ever thought about.