I ate breakfast with the family at their table and felt so good that I knew that I had recovered as much as I could with the current treatment. All I ...could do now was to exercise to get my strength back, and I could do that while traveling. I gave the woman a Half-Eagle ($5) and refused to take it when she tried to give it back to me. This was one of those rare times when I was more stubborn than a woman, so she finally gave in and accepted the money.I rode away, and I held a stone in my left. One night I could hear funny moaning sounds coming from mom and dad's room. I could hear their bed squeaking and I could hear mom's voice saying something but I couldn't hear what she was saying. After a while the squeaking stopped and I heard dad get up and go to the bathroom. I had to go too so I got out of bed and started down the hall toward the bathroom. I'd just about reached it when dad came out of the bathroom. He was naked and had a throbbing hardon. It was all red and juicy like he. He soon proved that his ability in the new position was equal to that of his skill as adjutant. We had managed to retain the services of Newton Ferrers, the Adjutant who had been attached to us just before Waterloo, and he turned out to be nearly as good as Frederick Bywaters at the job. Sir Edmund had persuaded Ferrers to remain with the battalion when we returned to England.On the 10th March 1816, the 2nd/69th was ordered to Hounslow barracks, which is about twenty miles to the west of. It is hit or miss, abit of a a gamble. Regardless, the anticipation of that next great itembuilds as the wait for the delivery follows. When the item arrives theurge to dress is unbearable; if you can't do so immediately theanticipation is maddening. Crossdressing is as natural as breathing, thatis once you accept it.Purging is part of crossdressing. But why? As I see it there are twomotivations: fear and denial. Fear is extrinsic whereas denial isintrinsic. The fear piece of it stems from.