Wilton had Rachael.The though always made him run cold, as if someone poured ice water through his veins. He seemed to have it at least once a day. He... found himself standing next to his car and not quite sure how he got there or how long he'd been there. He was much more absent-minded of late. One more proof that he was an old man - too old to be chasing young girls barely his son's age. He got in the car and drove to a bar-and-grill near the house. He ate there often enough that the wait staff. He thought that the difference was in the desire, or lack of it, to be alone. It was simple enough. He was finding that that there were deeper truths to be understood. There was a spectrum of the state of aloneness, wherein a person could find oneself drifting from red to violet without full awareness of the shift until it was too late.Solitude caused a person to think, learn, meditate and achieve understanding. A person could exercise a mind and a body. Improvements of all sorts were possible. ‘I would never hear the end of his teasing.’ Pleased with the beginning of the dinner, the Earl left to begin bringing in the dishes. ‘It is beautiful dress, Lucy,’ Caroline said. ‘Forty years old, I would guess.’ ‘Just fancy,’ James added, ‘it might have been to Court.’ ‘It has pockets,’ Lucy said doubtfully. ‘Only servants’ dresses have pockets.’ ‘Oh, Lucy,’ Caroline said with a laugh. ‘You have every right to wear such a lovely dress.’ ‘That would be my mother,’ James said. ‘Never saw a. Like having a guardian angel, but with a different kind of relationship.. filled with affection, protection, and indescribable happiness. It was a casual thing, though mystical and on levels of strangeness I could never explain. But I always found great comfort it in. I would sometimes see ‘her’ in my thoughts when I’m crying. I never knew her name, or in a way I did know her name but it was more of a feeling then a word. I’d be wrapped up in myself on the bed, not caring about anything or.