.. is a stay-at-home homemaker. We were not in a position to give an infant the care she deserved. Our condition was so dire, we had decided to give t...he baby up for adoption.”“So it was heartbreaking either way,” Amanda said.“We knew we wouldn’t be bringing a baby home,” April added.“I can fully understand that. How did you learn this?”“My parents told us,” April replied. “They said that Brad came to them wanting me to live at their house and be a live-in nanny for Mattie.”“Mattie is the girl’s. My fingers fumbled at the clasp and suddenly it seemed to fall apart and I felt the straps slide down my arms and the sheer garment fell to the floor. I just stood there, my eyes closed, and the tears of shame coursing down my cheeks. I stood seemingly paralysed like a rabbit in a light beam. I was in a room filled with people, but I had never felt so isolated and alone. I raised my eyes, and there was not a sound in the room. Everyone was just looking at my body. I felt shame and humiliation.. "I want to explain. I'm not trying to condone what I did, but I just want you to know that I'm different now. God, I was so young and arrogant. I thought that every girl would want to get with me. I know that my apology isn't worth much now, but for what it is worth, I've felt guilty for it every day since."Heidi found that hard to believe. "Why now? Why did it take you four years to come say something to me?" She tried hard to keep her voice calm, not wanting him to know how much this. A woman Mom had grown up with returned to town shortly before my fourteenth birthday. She refused to tell anyone what she had done while she was away, but she had plenty of money. The one thing that she made very clear was that no man would ever set foot on her property. Any service call she placed included a clear request that the service people to be sent to her place had to be female and she accepted men only if there was no choice. If a man did have to come out, she arranged for one of her.