." I stumbled to the door and let my weightfall on it. I paused. "... not decent." Just wanted to let you know that we're home and I checked on Jenny....She's asleep. Everything went well tonight?" she said through the door asshe stopped pushing.I laid against the door and sat on the floor, hearing my diaper crumpleand my ruffles crinkle. They were the loudest noises ever, I was certainMom would wonder what the noise was. OR worse, Mom would KNOW the soundof a diaper and ruffles. Please Mom, you. I was washing potatoes when the doorbell sounded. I hit the button for the intercom and said, "Hello." It's Stacie," came the reply."Come in," I said, while hitting the button that unlocked the door.I heard the door open. I wiped off my hands and walked through the dining room into the hall. There was Stacie."I'm so sorry to bother you," she said."No problem," I said. "Come into the kitchen. I'm just getting things ready."She followed me into the kitchen. I turned to greet her and froze. There. ’ ‘Um-hmm, … uh, … we don’t have to …’ ‘Oh yes we do, … maybe he is, … and besides, I’d rather feel guilty than feel deprived,’ and she glanced at me again: ‘And I would, especially knowing what else I like now.’ ‘That’s good. It was only an offer. I sure do.’ She held my arm a little closer, and we both chuckled and walked on in silence again. This time I was thinking, that it was good that we had discussed the situation, and she was thinking about the same, after the next street remarking:. Only a few stragglers, pimps, hoes and junkies were usually out this late and I knew I wouldn't get any more business, not here.Sitting at a table to finish my early morning breakfast I saw a couple walk in holding hands while kissing and laughing. They seemed so happy, so normal and so much in love. That was something that I'd never have. With everything that I'd done, no one will ever want me, not that way at least. Even if I got away from Ronnie, what would I do and where would I go? I had.