I dreamed of her surrendering her body for the black man to make pleasure with. My dream was a chaos of her body tangled in heated passion with the bo...dy of a black man.After that I began a slow slide back into watching interracial pornography. I secretly bought a lot of dvd's, books and magazines. I basically collected and hid anything that had something to do with interracial sex including clippings of celebrity women dating black men. Sometimes I masturbated so much that I had trouble. He’s running something along the insides of her thighs. It feels cold, maybe sharp, she can’t quite tell. He holds a dull butter knife against abdomen, ice cold from being in the freezer. He runs it from her thighs to her breasts. It follows her curves and circles around her erect nipples. He gently moves its dull blade up the side of each nipple. “OMG,” Ms. E shouts to herself, “he can’t be touching me with that big ass sharp knife! Trust him, trust him.”Her heartbeat starts to race. She. It had been signed by Sheila and a witness I did notrecognize. It even was notarized and dated some fifteen years ago. "Idon't understand," I cried "I don't understand why you would do thisto me." Sheila walked over and placed her hand on my shoulder andsaid that if I did not trust her, I should go for option one and takethe beatings that come with that choice. Sheila rubbed my shoulderand suggested that I choose option number two and just wait and seeif it was not what we both want and need. This was what my husband found erotic, arousing. He wanted to behave just as my college frat boy had. “You said you regretted it, though, the next day.” “Naturally. And I chalked it up to being drunk, and decided he must have slipped me some drug or other to make me act like a total slut. I couldn’t accept that the girl who’d literally begged to have her pussy raped was me. I thought I’d been a ‘bad girl’,” I said. “Civilized, well brought up young women weren’t supposed to act like brazen.