I had to find my own meals since they didn't have a cafeteria. I'd requested a room for a week while I figured out what I was going to do and the amou...nt of therapy I needed to have. It had been almost five weeks since the shooting and I figured they have appendectomies fully recovered in three. So what the hell? I should be out of here in a week.Except an appendectomy is a quick snip and stitch operation. It hardly even leaves a scar these days. I guess that's different than having several. He took me to his office and told me he was calling my parents I broke down in tears and begged him not to What will you do for me he asked, this was unexpected, but I said anything,He stood up and said anything ? You mean that Yes sir I replied .He went to the door and locked it and leant against it come over here boy he demanded I stood incontinence of him , anything you said boy ,Yes sirRight get on you knees , I obeyed Undo my trousers , I unbuckled his belt and pulled his trousers down ,. The upfront cash would solve my cash flow problem and I wanted to get up close and personal with the dame on the other end of the phone in a way that is not discussed in bible class and only covered by strange words like “cleaving” and “begetting”. I know it seemed like an awful lot cleaving and begetting went on back then at the beginning of it all but there was not much else to do without any television or real books to read and enjoy in the nocturnal hours.I didn’t like to get involved with. I just did not want to turn that particular patch of shit. I know, I was full of bad metaphors and screwball opinions even back then.It was a depressing day, even though the weather was beautiful on that late May morning. I was just in a funk because I loved Thia in so many good ways, but also in that one, not so good way. Hell I made the decision to stop beating myself up, and just do the best I could for her in the short time we spent together. The mental anguish I felt was almost.