I nowhad reasons to be better than that, to face my compulsions. I realizedthat I might be the only transsexual some people met, and for better orwors...e I represented my trans brothers and sisters. I owed it to the twoscared, closeted girls and one FtM who had approached me here in mySenior year---telling me that I gave them hope---to be the happiest,most capable new woman I could. And yes, most of all I owed it tomyself...The coyote cheer segued seamlessly into the Tai Chi inspired. I had offered Joan Prozac. Tony would buy her a vibrator. I wondered where some of the toys were that we used to play with. I remembered the night we flooded a bathroom on the second floor of a motel and set off the smoke detectors because we got sidetracked and forgot to open the flue in the fireplace. For the moment those times seemed important. My eyes were still red when I got to work. I had the receptionist call Joan to come in and see me.Joan was agitated, "Why did you have me come in? Am. I need a wank, just to clear my head. I suppose if I..."I think I'll just have a quick shower..." Sure."So I walk nonchalantly to the bathroom. No lock on the door, another job yet to be addressed. Water on. Clothes off. I step into the steam, lean against the cold tiles, and close my eyes. A mental picture of her, wearing the summer dress that seemed more appropriate for the weather. I see her lift the skirt higher, smiling. A satin triangle obscures her pussy, and she runs a finger over the. At the top of the pole it went in at a 90 degree angle so I could hold on to that part and keep rubbing up and down. After a minute or so I got a real intense feeling and it went away. I had no idea what it was but the next day I wanted to feel it again so I humped that pole again and would do so every day at recess. I was lucky because at home in my bathroom there were 3 decorative poles that were about 4 feet high and went from the ceiling to the counter. I would lock the door, take off all.