The more I watched Justin flirt and screw around, the more convinced I was that admitting I loved him was a bad idea. I valued our friendship too much..., so hiding my sexuality was the only thing I was concerned about. In fact, I forgot all about what I did until it bit me back in the arse when I met Louise. It was no wonder that she hated me the way she did.The thing that is nagging at me right now is that everyone knew about Ashleigh and me. Our relationship, the sex, and the disgusting. ...I find this very awkward ...its very frustrating ....I'm so ..so very sorry ...its not going to work out between us".I will never forget her gorgeous features, that lovely kind caring smile as she put her arm around me and kissed me on the cheek but those words struck home .It made me feel so inadequate as a man but strangely at the same time I had a very stiff erection when she told me the facts .I was basically a useless lover because I was just too small for her." I had so many questions. Olson, Preston and Tolson. God damn them! I wondered how many other so-called friends had been putting the blocks to Mary Beth and then smiling at me. Christ! It could be everyone I know and I'd never know it. Maybe what I needed to do was pack up and move, get a fresh start some place else where no one knew me. No, I couldn't do that. My job was too good and the house almost paid for. Besides, I'd look like I was running away with my tail between my legs. I had too much pride to do that.I. We’d both made that step into womanhood within two months of each other – her first, then me, and like every other milestone in our lives, we’d discussed it at length. Mom put me on the pill six months later to mitigate my raging hormones. Bink’s mom did because Bink was cute, young, and Barb thought, going to get boy-hungry any day now. Instead, me and Bink dove into each other to stave off the need for boys.“Until I can marry Ben,” Bink used to tease.Now I’m mixed in with the two of them..