Freddy shook his head. That’s bullshit. It hurts for a second. Then you die. Then you’re undead. Then you’re hungry forever, and that hurts. Tha...t hurts more than dying to some monster, because at least then you’re dead. You’re not hurting yourself, or other people because of what you’ve become. The fuck with Zombies, or other unintelligent monsters. Get bitten, and that’s it. Mindless corpse. You’re body’s a host, but your mind, and soul is gone. At least you’re dead. …but that’s the point.. Afterwards, we pedaled over to my place, did my chores, then headed back to Jim’s farm. We needed showers, but took them separately this time, thank you very much. We really did have some homework, so we got to it. We’d spoken a little about last night. Events of that evening still left us excited, but confused. Neither of us seemed inclined to discuss our shower together, nor having to masturbate in front of his sisters. We did drop into some conspiratorial tones and talk about how absolutely. I'm done. I'm going to delete them all, delete this email account, destroy my phone and stop going to the classified ad site.“Right after I have some coffee.” I said out loud, when I heard the microwave ding.I drank my coffee while I waited for the tub to fill up. I took a nice, long, very hot bath. It felt good.As I lie back in the tub, my body turning a light shade of red from the heat of the water, I closed my eyes and thought about everything I had done. I alternated between fighting back. I need to process it all, now that I truly understand who I am. I wonder if I will regret putting my life, warts and all, out there. Worst case scenario – everyone who reads about me might hate me for all my mistakes. Of course I do not want that but it is what it is. These taboo subjects and experiences can be related to autism and most autistics and autism experts would not want to talk about them. At the end of the day, I have to take responsibility for my past mistakes and I do believe I.