He didn't really throw the emails.It took Kevin a second before his lawyer's training kicked in, and he backed off from the fantasy. He instantly unde...rstood that if he revealed his cards to Steve now, he would never have the kind of retribution he wanted against this monster.Kevin's mind went into overdrive at Steve's revelation. His fiancée? The past year? The depth of betrayal that Steve was capable of increased by an unheard of order-of-magnitude in Kevin's mind.This man was literally. But such thinking is futile. I did sell the house. I did stay in Cambridge. And we did stay together, if peculiarly. My life become one of memory and fantasy. Memories of days, nights, experiences, with Julie and Anne, and other women, some of whose names I could not even remember, some of whom I was surprised to realize I had known twenty or thirty years earlier, were incomparably more vivid than Lynn’s infrequent, wraithlike presence. I masturbated to those memories considerably more than I. One night our grandpa, Dom was up for a glass off water. He walked across Jens room and heard sound of moans. He knew that Jeff was sleeping over, and immediately suspected. He knocked on her door and Jen opened the door minutes later. Her hair was messed up, Dom barged in and found Jeff hiding under the bed. He started hitting him for sleeping with his cousin. He kicked him out and told him never to come back here. He now confronted Jen, he threatened to tell everyone about what was going on.. None of that really happened to me. I never loved like that. I was never touched like that. I never felt that. I would give almost anything to feel the first push under my bones. Almost anything to hear him whisper ‘honeypie’, or ‘dollface’, or the one who called me ‘sugar’, and especially the one who simply said my name as if it were more holy than God. When I see the young ones, with the sweat from the plastic cups of their iced lattes dripping onto their crossed tanned legs, I feel him.