THE answer, if there is such a thing."I was about to deliver the message, the answer he was looking for, and Iwas terrified, because I didn't like hur...ting people, and what transpirednext was a terrible, TERRIBLE, and necessary wound, and I hated being theone to deliver it. I screwed up my courage."But, you know the answer," I said as gently and as with as much love as Icould. "You're just refusing to see it. I could point you to some clues,if you like." I smiled, but it was a lie, and I felt. Paps hatte als kleiner kaufmännischer Angestellter genug damit zu tun, uns durchzubringen. Aber Petra war immer für mich da. Irgendwann gab ich ihr ein paar Tips, was Jungs angeht. Sie fragte mich eigentlich regelmäßig, wie ein Kerl dieses oder jenes sehen würde. Kurz nach einem solchen Gespräch brachte Petra mich mit einer ihrer Freundinnen zusammen, mit der ich dann mein erstes Mal hatte. Aber irgendwann fiel mir auf, dass Biggi, so hieß ihre Freundin, mich nach der ersten Neugier eigentlich. I blushed when I recognized my stupidity.Courtney and Kayla giggled. I sometimes hated that sound in girls."And then she shares him with me," Stephanie said.That started a round of laughs."I think Megan should make her birthday wish next," I said. I tried to say it as calm as possible. In my head, I came out sounding stilted."Which cake do you want your candles on?" asked Stephanie."Spread them out on all the cakes," I said. "This is a big celebration."Yes, I wanted the cakes. I didn't eat. I knew how this went and the thought of playing it with four girls scaredthe pants off me. The beginning wasn't too bad, I answered my questions asdid the others, but then they were pretty tame anyway; favourite actors,actresses, singer, that sort of thing, but then Sharon threw a spanner in the works by asking which boys they had kissed.I of course couldn't answer. I hadn't even kissed a girl and I don't needto tell you that the idea of kissing another boy was just about up therewith the idea.