This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.-Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just bee...n robbed.-Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis. “Just three. Alyssa, Lauren and the bitch.” They were all 17. Alyssa had short blonde hair. Lauren had longer brown hair similar to my sister Madison. Madison the Bitch. Madison the person who was about to get what was coming to her. My anger rose again.“The bitch,” Chris confirmed.“The bitch,” both brothers repeated.“Are we ready?” I asked. It was a genuine question and had more to do with our mental states that any preparation we did over the last half hour.“Yes.” Chris replied but didn’t. I don’t mind sharing Ted or you with my Mom or any of the others. And I don’t mind screwing the shit out of the Argentines. But I don’t love any of them the way I love you.”“Then you should tell her, Taylor. She might be surprised. I’m sure she will be. I’m sure she’s given me Manda and Fredericka as gifts because she finds them stunning and irresistible.”“Are they?” Taylor interrupted.“If I had to choose, Taylor, I’d pick you every time.”Taylor looked stunned. “Do you mean that?”“It’s. . but you’ll need to fetch and carry.”“Fetch and carry?”“Yes,” I said.“All day?”“On a decent day, I clear a hundred and twenty-five.”“What’s your best day?”He got a faraway look, “Canada wide Baptist Convention... 500 ... but it was constant.”“So ... Five hundred and follow me around?”He picked up a microphone... “Charles,” he said.The radio squawked, “Charles.”“I’m out of service ... I have an all day.”“Very good, Charles is out of service.”“American cash?”“You bet!”Canadian exchange is 68.