You’ve taken it on as being a part of you, that you are not a sexual person, when she conditioned you to be that way. If you want her to be able to ...have that kind of hold on you, for you not to want to have sexual desires for any other woman, it’s on you.’ Maybe I was too harsh, maybe he was too emotional. I saw his face begin to get red and he was becoming angry, very angry. I reached out to him and said the only thing that felt right to say even if it was not the right time, ‘I love you.’ . I mean, you have Mom..."I felt guilty for a new reason. "Yeah, well..." said I."But you wanted ME," said Erica."Uh, yeah." You know, lots of my friends have crushes on you," she said."Oh?" I said, still dazed."Yeah. So do I." She said that while blushing, the words forced. She smiled nervously. And something changed inside me. Guilt and shame fell away and I clearly saw the beautiful angel standing in front of me not only as my daughter, but as an incredibly desirable female who was. " she said."Well close the door, and put your eyeballs back in, they're on stalks!" the 'Mistress.' insisted, "You simply can't get the staff." But!" I said stupidly."Oh wake up and smell the coffee," she insisted, "Really the small mindedness of the typical British worker never fails to astonish me." None of my business Madam." I agreed, "Or is that Mistress." Don't push it." she said as she locked the outside door behind me, "But we are not here to discuss my sexual preferences, nor yours for. Another milestone in rejection and disappointment for me. Same father, eleven years later and I’m not getting out of bed for something it’d be better that I didn’t go to. He’s not understanding this…and he’s ripping the posters off of my walls. Fury is being reborn inside me and I’m out of my bed and screaming at him, and he’s slapping me. Inside my heart on this other plane I am sinking further and further into this montage of my past agonies. Sixteen now and on the telephone with a.