Hard feelings.”I swirl the bourbon in the glass. Look down at it. Hear her breath under the music. I can always hear her breathe. It’s the heartbe...at in every conversation we’ve ever had. I see her scrunch her toes on the carpet, most likely cold. And anxious.Can we just speak plain?“Don’t worry about that at all,” I reassure him. “I want this to happen. Please accept this as a gesture of my friendship.” My glass wishes him salut.We’re playing for the same teamThe only woman I’ve ever loved. Behind them, ahead of them, everywhere and everything was doom. So she laughed and laughed. Perhaps out of desperation or enlightenment, the other villagers started laughing with her. As they laughed, they realized that the bandits chasing them seemed farther and farther away while the summit appeared closer and closer. In absurd laughter, they sang, danced and marched up the mountain. Even though doom was everywhere, they had to celebrate what life they had. Love was professed, love was. Make no mistake. I knew that Kris didn't mean to hurt me, wouldn't have said those things for the world had she known the effect they ended up having on me. But that didn't lessen the pain one iota. That's when I began to understand what role I was going to play in the lives of all my female friends. I was always going to be the best friend, the surrogate big brother. They would take the flattery I offered in the spirit in which they thought it was intended, that of a friend who was 'required'. We had a good friendship. Not quite like father-daughter yet not quite boyfriend-girlfriend either. We just liked each other's company and we formed a good, friendly bond. I often wondered why Courtney would just pop in and out with no notice and seemingly no reason. She never gave me any real reason to suspect that anything was amiss, but I still had my concerns. She never talked of home and she was always a bit reserved when asked, so I let it slide. We had been friends for some months when.