I headed back out and continued in the dark to the last sauna. This was a single unit with the controls on the outside and one door directly into the ...sauna. On the outside were hooks for clothes and towels etc. The light inside was off but I could tell the heat was on. I cracked the door and called in. "Tom?"His voice came back like a frog croaking in the middle of the night, "Yes?" It's me, Tom, Karen" Yes, of course it is! Please, please come on in." I can't see anything and I don't want to. I wanted to get in my car and just go home, right there and then. Again I tossed and turned, then I looked out towards the other couple in the other caravan, but it looked like they had finished. Ten minutes must have passed when I heard a knock on the door. I heard it that time, I said, “Yes!” It was Nick, he didn’t open the door, he asked, “Sam, can I come in?” I wondered, 'Why? What did he want?' I said, “Yes sure.” He opened the door and did not turn the light on. The moonlight and some. I started kissing her neck. I actually wanted to play with her hair and see her necked. I turned her around. Touched my penis in her ass, started smelling her hair and pressed her boobs from behind. She put her neck on my shoulder. I stared to open her night gown to see boobs. She was still not having undergarments. I striped her necked.The women of my dream was necked and with loosened long thick hairs. I lifted her went to bed and make her lay down. She was looking at me but not speaking a. Something deep in me knew she would be with me the rest of my life. And, if she chose to leave, I would fight her leaving with all my power. Why did I not want to say it then? Was it wanting to exercise power over her? Wanting her to surrender, to kneel passively by me, dependent on my generosity and love for her? Was it a fear of commitment? Perhaps something in the very essence of my maleness, a fear by me of being trapped, of surrendering freedom and control?And, there was something else.