I wasn’t ready. Our relationship had never been fixed… there was so much left unsaid, undone.. No! It just wasn’t time! Why? I wanted to scream ...my frustration, I wanted to scream that I didn’t know what to do! How would this every be right! How could my dad be gone? No, no, no, it wasn’t right, wasn’t time. I lit a cigarette and painfully took puffs in between sobs. My boyfriend quietly reminded me that I needed to breathe. My best friend called, he told her what happened. She got off work. I took the subway back to my place, stopping for a perfunctory Cuban sandwich and tortilla at the deli. Nobody who saw me gave a second look. I reached my place just in time for my phone’s alarm to remind me to take some of Dr Kravitz’s finest. I laid down and put one hand over my head. When I was younger, I had this stupid idea that anti-depressants would instantly make me feel better. I’d a pop a pill and then be able to run and tell everyone it worked. Now, I was older and still wanted the. Now Jonny is in other city with his family. One day he insisted me to give mom’s pix to him.I asked….why?Jonny replied….Bro first gives me, and then I will give you a surprise.I arranged mom’s nice pix and gave him.A day after giving pix, he returned me another pix in which we three (mom, me, and Jonny) are fully nude. Mom was holding both cock with her fist, Jonny’s 3 fingers inside pussy and mine fingers were inside her ass. I was amazed to see pix and asked…How you did it?Jonny. I took two bottles of drinks and a packet of dry fruits and we both sat on the sofa naked. I lighted a cigarette, she too took one and we started talking.The sunny Leone scene had ended, so I opened MTV music on the TV.I asked, “when did you fuck last time” she smiled and replied, ” it’s been 4 months now, it was a one-night stand with a college mate.It was fun, but the motherfucker didn’t last even 20 minutes” I laughed and said ,” must’ve been a newbie” she took a long puff at smoke and.