What’s the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?You can’t hear an enzyme.How do you make a hormone?Put sand in the Vaseline.What’s a cunt ...that talks back?An answering cervix.What do you give an eighty-year-old woman for her birthday?Mikey ... He’ll eat anything.What do you call a woman who uses too much contraceptive cream?A spermicidal maniac.Why do women have legs?So they don’t leave snail tracks on linoleum floors.What do you call a hooker with no legs?A nightcrawler.What do you call a. ’These two are compliments of J & BGRANDMAA man moves into a nudist colony.He receives a letter from his Grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He’s really worried but then remembers how bad his Grandmother’s eyesight is, and hopes she won’t notice.A few weeks later,. Both times, someone seen me jerking off and took my plate number and reported me. Both times I was let off with a warning as they said technically I was in the privacy of my vehicle and had made no attempt to attract attention to my masturbatory activities. I apologized both times, although the second time I was warned there better not be a third! I didn't want to push my luck so I stopped jerking off in my car. This cut down on how many times I could jerk off and I became frustrated. Then, a. I turned on some TV, it was some stupid run of the mill sitcom but whatever. It will do for now. As i ate that creeping feeling of........ I wanna call it despair? I mean it'a not that bad, but i can't really think of anything else to call it so let's just call it despair. That creeping feeling of despair come over me again.I have been doing this for years now, get home, eat some shitty dinner, watch some shitty shows, go to sleep, wake up and jerk off, eat a shitty breakfeast, repeat. And then.