I lay awake almost all night, berating myself in my shame andguilt. My dreams of sexual intimacy with my mother were in ashes.Worse, I was scared stif...f she would be f****d to report me to someofficial agency. For the first time since my father died I criedmyself to sleep. Next morning, I descended to the kitchen with dread. Mom wasalready up and from the redness around her eyes she apparently hadn’tslept much either. I was too ashamed to speak, and the cold, tight-lipped look she shot at. "Jessica, you're so beautiful and you're so intriguing," I said as I broke off the kiss to let her know how badly I wanted her. "I want you bad, Jessica," I said as I looked deeply into her eyes to see what she was feeling. I knew from talking to Jessica that she'd actually been engaged to a young man the year before but he'd proven unfaithful to his pledge to her and she'd broken the engagement off. Now, Jessica was about to experience something totally new with me.I quickly got Jessica out of. She then put two chairs on her desk (that was more than large enough for them) and had Roberta and me sit down on them.Once we had sat down, Ms. Dunham took a small rubber mallet (the type doctors use) and told the class that she was going to give a practical demonstration of involuntary reflexes.She had Roberta and I cross our legs, with the right leg over the left one. She tapped my right knee and my right foot jumped a little. There was a little laughter when the class saw Roberta's foot. A few essentials that I would need over the weekend - I expected nothing out of the ordinary. It was getting late when I arrived at Jan's home. Already quite dark, I fumbled with the keys and unlocked the front-door. I hesitated, reaching for the light-switch as I stood in the darkened doorway... "WHAT?" I gasped, hesitating - I'd switched the entry light on and come face to face with a policewoman's uniform blouse hanging from the back of Jan's back-door. I paused to leave my traveling bag on.