None of us displayed any symptoms of hypogonadism. That’s a fancy word for “testosterone deficiency.” We fucked our way through everything in a ...skirt, everything that owned a skirt, and everything that could spell skirt in seven tries or less. OK, maybe eight. Or nine. Some girls just deserve extra chances. After six weeks we had all acquired steady girlfriends. Not that we were looking for love, but it beat the shit out of nightly quim-hunting and muff-trapping in the local bars. And it was. After getting my stuff from the plain I started straight for the hotel. At the reception I was told that someone already has checked in and my heart started beating rapidly. I took the key and searched my way to the room. When I arrived at the room I knocked: “It's me. May I come in?” Silence, I waited and I was able to hear my blut rushing through my ears. I guess I've been more nervous than at the day when she picked me up at the airport. After some time, whtat felt like hours, what probably. While she looked over the menu, I could see her confusion growing even more. Once we ordered our food, it arrived promptly, and our server was very attentive to our needs. I didn’t manage to have my soda get down more than halfway before I had another brought over. When we finished eating, Elena was looking a bit lost.She finally said, “Darren, I’m at a loss here. They charge three Euros here per glass of soda. As we ate, you drank at least four. Other customers are likewise having their sodas. I continued to worship the heavenly bodymy father had somehow hooked into marriage during myjunior year in high school.* I remember that Tuesday with perfect clarity — like itwas this morning. Monica lay on a deck lounger in myfavorite peach bikini, baking to a gorgeous bronze whilehiding behind sunglasses and a magazine. I spent an hourhiding my boner while keeping my face turned toward her,staring from the tiny slits of my squinting eyes. `God,you’re wonderful,’ I kept.