It was somewhere in Haryana and I woke up dying to pee so I went and spoke to the conductor and they stopped the bus so that anyone who wants to pee c...an do so. No one got down but me. When I got back in, she stared at me and mocked me saying that something’s wrong with my bladder. I never shy away from a good argument, so I told her that if she could have helped me, then I wouldn’t have had to get down peeing. Then she told me that I never asked her. So I told her that I’m ready to pee again. I knew I'd never have it again, maybe never did."Honey, it seems like I've been talking for hours, and you haven't said a word." Joan..." I tried but I broke down and bawled, like the sad assed wimp and cuckold I'd become. "I'm about to hurl. I need to get shit-faced drunk. I need to convince myself not to drive into a bridge abutment on the way to work tommorrow." Yeah, I'd been thinking about that. I had good insurance. Double indemnity would twice fill the hole where I'd been in our. I notice my butterfly girl is also quite happily playing with some children, I wonder if a discrete meeting may occur. She continues to be aloof though, happy to raise a cheeky eye brow but not giving me much indication. I round the corner of the maze in hot pursuit of a young boy who has taken a liking to me and enjoys being thrown in the air. There standing illuminated in a ray of sunshine is my butterfly. She is standing hand on hip, her eye brow cocked! My thoughts of tickling my young. "Brenda darling ... it's okay. You're next to me now and that is all that matters to me." But you let me go so easily?" I thought it was just a fling for both of us. I was so wrong. I hurt all summer. I often slept with your bathing suit and held it to my face until I couldn't smell you anymore. It wasn't until this morning I threw it far out into the ocean." Before I met you, they found a tumor in my elbow. I was told it was surgery or a short time to live. The day I first saw you, I was.