It was the gem buried beneath the grit to which I found I was attracted; the person that cared enough to make sure I was at peace in my mind. In my mi...nd I could see Gary as he had been before he had donned that Skin. I could see his blonde hair that framed an amazingly good looking face, bright blue eyes and clear tanned skin. The idea of the sound of his voice, HIS voice almost sent me to a place where I felt there would be no returning from. I no longer saw Gary (Tonto). I could only see the. I wanted her right away.The two sat down, her drunken husband banging his plate loudly as he did and I heard them give their drink order. The husband loudly and rudely ordered two jack and cokes while his wife, in the most adorable little voice I'd ever heard, ordered a glass of white whine.My attention got diverted, though, when her husband knocked over the pitcher of ice water on their table, sending some of it splashing my way. I couldn't help it, I shot a dirty look his way. I caught the. I could barely drive through the deep snow, torn between the urge to cry openly from my terror and exhaustion, to be physically ill, or to pray to God to thank Him for sparing us and to beg forgiveness for our own guilt at having killed a defenseless man, even though the man had proven himself to be nearly the devil incarnate. Looking over at Tara, who had actually been the one to cause Zeke’s death, didn’t help me. She was sitting stiffly in her seat, staring straight ahead through. Paul's life insurance, which they had only been able to afford to keep paying because his parents bought the policy for him when he was a baby, was more than enough to take care of the funeral expenses and gave them enough to fall back on for a while.Lynne and I spent hours sharing our grief. It was good for both of us. Jill spent even more time shadowing me, and time passed.A year later they hit a financial snag. Lynne mentioned it in the same casual way she might have said that there were two.