..” I begin but he shushes me with a kiss and I feel the haze crowd my senses again. When we pull apart again we stare at each other again and the t...ension grows in the room. “Tell me what you need.” That simple statement makes me flush hotly. “I want to lose control. I need to give in.” Again he leaves me on the bed but goes to the closet this time. He returns with our box labeled 'DVDs and NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS' and returns to me instructing me to lay on my belly. As I settle on my belly he. And that somebody is going to be pretty upset if he knows you found them.”“Why?” I ask. “I only take part of one, and if is as you say I will take no more.”She holds up her hand to me. “It isn’t that you took one, it’s that you know they’re there at all. People even kill other people today over that kind of thing.”“Kill?“ I say in disbelief. “For plant?““Not for the plant itself, but so they won’t be discovered to have it. For twenty or thirty plants the person who’s growing them could go to. I’ve been working about 10 hours a week. I did put in a full 8 yesterday. I hear people talking about their dreams and goals for the future and I can’t afford the pain of having any.When I wrote about being overwhelmed in the bank two chapters ago I didn’t mention that I was having full blown for lack of a better word dementia like symptoms. I knew why we were there but didn’t understand what was going on. I was arguing about what papers go into what envelope and other silly behaviour. At one. Immer wieder und wieder muss ich ihn um Sex anbetteln. Du brauchst es, oder? schreit er mich an. Du willst es jetzt? Sag es, los, flehe mich an. Mein ganzer Unterleib steht in Flammen. Ich zerre an meinen Fesseln, aber ich komme nicht los. Ich bäume Heinz mein Becken entgegen, bitte ihn immer wieder: Nimm mich, nimm mich bitte. Er weiß genau, wann ich vor Geilheit dem Wahnsinn nahe bin. Diesen Punkt habe ich jetzt erreicht. Und endlich, endlich kniet er sich zwischen meine Schenkel. Ich spüre.