”I stopped in my tracks, thinking carefully about what my next action would mean. Then, I walked out the door.*The tears that I shed in the car on t...he way to the airport were gone. I resolved to forget about my father and his hurtful comments about my chosen career. I knew deep down I was right and my sadness soon faded away, completely overtaken by a sense of irrepressible excitement.John met me at the airport, greeting me with his sparkling, blinding white, Hollywood smile. My breath caught. “Now you Julian, these three women want to watch me blow your huge cock,” I tell him as I sit on a carver chair side on to the women. I want them to see his huge cock in my mouth, and motion for him to come closer.“Your cock is magnificent,” I smile as I lick and kiss the full length of it, very mindful the three women are watching my every move and comparing my technique to theirs. I learnt a long time ago, don’t just stroke your partner's penis, stroke his ego.“And huge,” I tell him as I wrap. It wasn’t as though everyone stood and watched. I wasn’t the centre of attention more a sideshow which made me feel even smaller. In fact only a couple did although it would be one of those who stopped and humiliated me. All the others stood around chatting as I was pulled by my nipples or arm, led to the chair, bent across the waiting lap, spanked, and then led back to the wall by my nipples. It couldn’t have been more demeaning. Slowly the room emptied, but the last Mum said a cheery goodbye. I didn't even take my things. I don't need any of it now.I don't know what I'm going to do. I think I'll leave my kids with their Aunt Janell for a while longer.Journal Entry Number Seven:Well, I just had my weekly appointment with my wonderful 'Doctor'. He's a quack; I'm so done with that guy.I think he is the crazy one. I need to face reality? I need to move on? Excuse me, but grief does not affect everyone the same way.Fuck him! I am angry and sad, and I miss her like hell! There, I've said.