His body just slides across. Then even quicker, "mfff, inff."His grip on my neck becomes even tighter. I started to panic as?I had no control. I pushe...d against his abs, but Ihad no leverage. His abs, his legs, and every part of his body I thoughtwas rock hard. He is tense and driven. I'm massively overpowered and he is in total control. Sometimes I can't gather myself to inhale. I can't control my ownbreathing. Panic and survival instincts kick in. I just want to breathe.For periods of time the. As October progressed, it seemed there was no way I was getting out of this one. John seemed to want me there, since I was management. Something about it looking good to the other employees. Joyce had just started taking night courses at a local community college. She happened to have a class the same night as the party so she wouldn't be able to attend. Debbie would most likely be at the party with John, so visiting her was out of the question. What the heck, I thought. I might as well break. What should I tell you? "I was trying to erase an old memory, but it didn't work. I didn't want it to interfere with us, but I realized that it couldn't unless I let it. I promise I won't let that happen again."He asked her softly, "Is it a bad memory?" You were thinking about HIM, weren't you?"No. It's a pleasant memory ... but it's caused me some pain in the past."It is about him... "Does it still cause you pain?" Not any more." You're the man of my dreams now... He knew it was a memory. ’ I said staring into the webcam. I was shaking. I wanted to keep him, but to do that would mean to give him some kind of free freak show that I didn’t want to do. We argued on skype and it was over. I went outside turned the A.C. on in my car and I was shaking. I was very upset. I had lost someone I loved months ago. My marriage was comfortable, but my husband just didn’t treat me the way I wanted or needed. Could I get naked on the webcam again? Could I deal with this again. I knew in the end.