Joan had explained that I would probably be too busy so she was happy to help. Mrs Jones eventually, after some coaxing from Joan, admitted that she w...as finding the edging very difficult and was hopeful that I might allow her to climax – this did seem to indicate that she was enjoying the sexual playing and wasn’t asking to be released from that. Joan had said that she understood the issue but that as I had given Mrs Jones the instruction Joan would consult with me and get back to her. I. Brian turned me toward Sal, kissed the back of my neck and guided my arms up, welcoming Sal to step forward. Sal took the cue and for the first time in three years I felt a strange mans lips press against mine. The time for being shy was over, and I kissed Sal hard and passionately, my hands exploring his body. It made sense that Sal would seek out the YMCA even when out of town on business. His had a lean, muscular body.I stepped out of my shoes and played with Sal's belt. He lifted my t-shirt. And that was how the thought formed in my mind. I'd avoided trying to explore how I felt in my new surroundings. My emotions seemed ... dampened ... somehow. I realized that I'd become almost mechanical in a sense, and it frightened me. I hadn't understood what the doctor had tried to explain. I hadn't understood what the technicians and nurses had spoken about so openly around me. I hadn't known that there was a small biological computer implanted in my cerebrum that collected and stored. I fumble as I work the key into the lock. Finally, with a good dealof pressure, the key turns. The door opens with a creak into a dimly lit stairwellwhich descends into darkness. My heels click and clack on the stone steps asI wobble down on feet unfamiliar with descending stair in really high heels. It is pitch black at the base of the stairs. I runmy hands along the wall in search of a light switch in the usual place. Noluck. Suddenly, a very low wattage fluorescent light palely flickers to.