” I indicated with one hand to the ropes above my knees while my other hand shielded my exposed core.“Vulnerable? Helpless? Ashamed?” “A bit,�...�� I conceded. “Good,” she purred.I was starting to feel panicky with confusion. While my body was melting with anticipation, my conscience was valiantly fighting against surrendering. Social conditioning dictated that, although it may be acceptable to have a female lover if I kept it discreet, I would be branded the worst kind of deviant to even consider. ”I nodded with a grimace, “I do.”“Do you see my point? You still treat me with kid gloves and pretend that I don’t know what’s best for me. That might have been true four years ago when I was raped. It might even have been true two years ago when I met you. It’s sure as heck not true now. And don’t tell me you think I’m acting like a slut because of the rape, either. Yes, some girls do that, thinking that once they’ve been raped, they are worthless. Do you think that I have that attitude, Steve. Kintu baba ekhono jowan achen. Baba jodi ghore guud chudte na paan takhon uni nischoye kore baire giye bajarer meyecheleder guud chudten. Ete amader bodnamee hoto, aar hote pare je baba baire giye choda chudi korate onar kono kharab rog hoye jeto.Kintu ekhon aar ei sab kichu hobe na kenon baba baritei tomar guud ta chudte parbe aar baure jabe na.” Nupur chupchap hoeye Ashoker kotha shune bollo, “tar amake barite theke babar songe roz roz choda chudi korte hobe?” Ashok matha nere bollo, “aare. My legs were starting to fall asleep from sitting on the toilet too long. I got up and splashed some water on my face before grabbing some more Listerine to get the horrible dirty feeling out of my mouth. So he didn’t try to humiliate me or insult me, rather he just used me to get off knowing I couldn’t possibly fend him off logically anymore. This is the third time now i tell myself. This is only going to become more and more frequent, i reasoned. I struggled to look at myself in the mirror. I.