I look again at his reflection, Hmmmmmm, rock hard now, and I note he is staring right at me, it's a nice warm feeling knowing you are being desired a...nd visualized as a sexual object.I turn to look around me and stop and look directly at him, then down at his erection. He stops wanking, suddenly confronted mid act, unsure of my reaction, but he is OK, I have no intention of screaming, I want to see him 'Shoot', so I look left and back, we are alone, so I look back and down, and he smiles and. She shook her head. "I doubt that you would have given up because of some protocol if you really feared for her, as it's obvious you did. I don't buy it."She saw him quickly glance at Allison and then lower his head. He started to fiddle with the tape dispenser, and Abigail knew she'd hit it right on the head."Jaaack," she said slowly, "Why didn't you follow her?"Without raising his head, he quietly said, "I was about ready to pick up my stuff and follow her, but then I thought of you, and. ” I promised her. “Okay... well, we got into a fight after school because I won’t... do stuff with him.” she confided in me. “Honey, that’s terrible! He shouldn’t be pressuring you into doing anything you don’t want to do.” “Mom, we’ve talked about this before. It’s not that I don’t want to... or that I haven’t done some of those things before, it’s just that... well, he’s... he’s too big.” She said, embarrassed. “Too big? What do you... Oh! Oh my gosh!” I yelled. “Mom!” she screamed,. I just didn’t want to. That was how I thought. But once I was dry, I could see that every problem in my life went back to it. I had hit rock bottom. So I called the AA hotline from the phone in the lobby of the jail. They were nice enough to come get me. I went to my first real meeting and a nice lady there that night took pity and let me stay in a spare room she had until I got back on my feet. I went to meetings every night. I got a sponsor, and he helped me get into an inpatient program..