I can not think when he kisses me. The kiss is warm, it is long overdue and it is tender. It reaches down inside of me, every vein. I am floating towa...rds the ceiling and falling down to the pits of time. He kisses me and his tongue searches my mouth with a hunger. I touch his hands and he pulls away for a moment. "Everytime you emailed me I thought to myself why does she care about me?" He says and smiles again. "I do, I always did Murat." I assure him and this time I kiss him. I kiss him in a. . I’d prefer being with you. I suspect, with this job offer, we may have resolved the issues between us. If so, I’m eager to see what we can build.”Amanda hesitated. Em waited until she worked up the nerve to ask. “Have you ... asked your girlfriends what they think?”Em laughed softly. “You were right on that account too. Although they were hoping something might develop, they figured out what I couldn’t. They realized I wasn’t satisfied and they’d prefer to see me happy rather than waste all. Tv. This piqued my fancy to an immense degree,and I decided that I had found my outlet. I won't say which ones, and I'mrather ashamed of this, but I began to masturbate to stories and fantasiesof men becoming women--usually by force and against the man's wishes.My grades did improve, but not nearly to the point that I had beenstriving for. I began seeing a psychiatrist about my scholastic problems,but I have to say that I was dishonest about my gender-identity. In fact,the subject of. In fact, I think that was part of it, but only a small part. Mostly, it was figuring out what I needed, really needed, for the rest of my life. You provided so much that I wanted. But it didn’t match that dream I had of the future.”“And Andrew does,” I said.She hesitated, and then said, “Yes.”“Why the hesitation?” I asked.“Because when all my friends think I made a bad decision - in fact the absolute wrong decision - it’s hard to be as sure of myself as I was when he asked me. I was sure..