Now, I found myself once again caught out in the middle of a raging ongoing conflict I'd been having with myself. Mentally, I was absolutely certain t...hat Anita and I could never be together, not in any permanent, romantic, sense. Emotionally, for whatever reason, I found myself unable to completely let her go. This conflict was wearing on me. I had been having it for more than a year already, and seemed no closer to resolving it then I ever had been.I knew this was a self contained conflict. I. Stretching my arms, I felt like turning and going back to sleep, but I needed to check on dad. Grasping my watch from the side cabinet, it showed nine in the morning. Giving it a few shakes before putting it on my wrist. A habit I have. The watch was a gift from my father for my sixteenth birthday. “Give it a few shakes before you put it on, an automatic watch sometimes needs to wind up if it’s been sitting a while”, he explained to me.Dad was out on the veranda, enjoying his coffee. By his. We got out but Ifeoma stayed in. "I'm on a different floor, actually," she said as we turned and looked at her questioningly. The look in her eye told me the irony of the statement wasn't lost on her, and we held the look until the doors swung shut, closing us from one another. "'Night, guys," she added just before the doors shut.At that moment, I was thankful I didn't have to share a room with Okolo. There was a longing burning within me that I knew was going to drive me crazy all night. Ugo. What was a surprise thought, was her fasinaction with Gay porn. She loved to watch two or more guys engaged in various forms of gay sex. She seemed to get off on it, but who was I to judge. “To each his own” right? Besides all that, I wanted her to be happy and if that is what she wanted or needed to spice up our sex lives, fine.But, it became more than just watching porn. Somehow, over some time, it became more, much more. At first it was just harmless fun. Experimenting, maybe. She wanted to.