The taser he stuffed into his pants accidentally discharged into his groin while he was trying to steal a portrait of Tipper Gore, causing him to suff...er a fatal heart attack. Heck of an obituary. 2 weeks ago, he was acting tough on social media ... my vote for this year’s Darwin Award!✧ ✧ ✧GOOGLE Pizza (phone order conversation)Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?No sir – it’s Google Pizza.I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.OK. I would like to. Mom hates clothes and if the rest of the world were as open as our family I think she'd never wear them."Oh," she said absently as she came into the kitchen and started to help me putting stuff away, "that damn bra was driving me crazy." Yeah," I joked, jibing her a little, "don'tcha just hate that?" Smartass," she laughed, swatting me playfully, "you can laugh, you never have to wear one." Oh, but I like to sometimes," I kidded, drawing a big laugh from her.We worked quietly for a few minutes. Sandy walked over to the bed and sat beside me, then took my hands."Look, if you need to talk, feel free. I'm a good listener."I looked up at her face, then her eyes. She looked concerned and worried for me.I started to talk, but didn't know what to say. I sighed heavily. "It's probably my fault. I'm really attracted to this guy." And he dumped you?" No, not at all. Quite the contrary, he wanted me."Sandy looked puzzled."I've been really… uh, really…" Horny?" Yeah, really horny lately, you. I suppose there might have been a slurp or two because, hey, I’m putting my all into this, you know?There was some heavy breathing from Tom going on then, maybe a, “Yeah, like that!” and I barely noticed when Dave opened the door and stepped into our room. A little brush of air on my bare butt, and I felt it cool between my legs I was already so wet, but that’s it.It had all flowed together that morning. I was in the warm fuzzy place between sleep and waking where I knew I had to get up, I had.