Theyhad changed their appearance drastically. They had always had an extremelypinkish hue, with darker marks around their knuckles. Now, they were amu...ch more pale color... the hue of peach ice cream, I'd say, except alittle less orange. And my nails, too, were not as red, but were much morelighter, smooth, and... longer? As I placed my left hand down against the desk, in stunned disbelief,loose fabric of its sleeve slid down my arm. This, too, was odd; it hadfit me perfectly. The other sleeve. I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, then looked straight into her eyes."In a minute, you're going to lick my clit," I said. "When you're on your knees like this, just flick my clit up and down with your tongue. Be firm, be consistent, don't vary your rhythm. Don't start messing about trying to do the alphabet or any shit like that. Just keep going, up and down. Even if your fucking tongue gets tired, you're just going to keep going. You're gonna get me off. Understand?"I knew it wasn't. I resisted. Mental images of myself, at home, alone, broken, flashed through my mind, followed by memories of me sobbing into my pillow after the first time I accidentally allowed him to sacrifice himself in the game to kill the Archdemon. At last I realised just how truly selfish I was. I wasn't saving him. I was saving myself. I didn't want to have to live with myself if I loved him, for real, and he died, or I disappeared for good. He didn't deserve to be stuck with someone like me. A single. The cab arrived. We left.Four hours later we were in the back of a three tonne truck running through the first glow of daybreak towards Londonderry. The briefing had been—brief. A Loyalist march through a Republican area had got out of hand, and the local commander decided he needed more troops to contain the rioting and fire-bombing that had erupted in the Bogside.I was sat next to Gino in the back of the truck. "I've got Lover's Bollock something awful." He complained, twisting and fidgeting.