"Oh my god," I said as we both collapsed on the bed. "You are a wild man tonight." You bring it out in me," Mr. Bradford said grabbing a fistful of my... hair and pulling it. He kissed me passionately. "Tonight my dark side is in control." I like your dark side," I said feeling myself get wetter. "I know you do and tonight we start a new series of adventures," he said and I could hear a something different in his voice."I didn't fuck your cunt on purpose tonight," he said. "I want you to crave a. He was slightly mollified when a very large man wandered up and offered to help. When they got the wheel off they found a four inch nail in the tyre."Wonder how that got there," the man said."Someone probably hammered it in," replied Jeremy through gritted teeth.The big man smiled.That night, mulling things over and still infuriated that nothing was going right, Jeremy had another bright idea. He knew from Monday the way Annette normally went home. He could go and wait in a gateway and then tag. ‘Plus, it’s just like you said. You learned something from all this, so no, it’s not a waste.’ I liked her perspective. I had been too focused on Gram for too long. Sitting by the phone, waiting for a call from him that was never going to happen. I did not even want it to happen. I needed a change but god knows I was not going to do it myself. Like she was reading my mind, Stacy grabbed my arm and asked in a very serious tone, ‘Do you want to go do something? It’ll get your mind off things.’ . Unless a miracle happens I will never experience the joyof knowing I am pregnant or feeling that baby kick or giving birth.My former supervisor told me that what I missed was no big deal, butshe had the choice and she gave birth. I never will. No one except afew that are like me that I have given love to and receive love backwill ever call me mom. I have given some of them strength. I have givensome of them the will to endure. I have given some of them the strengthto, as Shakespeare?s Hamlet.