“Oh, no, he’s very real and the loose-end that neither Michael nor I have been able to find, let alone tie up. Well, he was bound to surface somew...here, and now he has. China. I should have seen it coming. A massive population of unmarried, undersexed men, many of them young, some not so young, plenty of time on their hands, a repressive regime stifling all dissent, a once dynamic economy starting to shrink and slow down, a religious void or vacuum in civil society that has been tough to fill. When the bell rang, I just sat still as a statue. Mr. Wainwright tried to reach me. He tried all the classic, “I’m concerned,” stuff, and the, “This isn’t about judgement.” He followed up with, “Are things okay at home?”I muddled my way through with pro forma answers.“You’re a beautiful young mind, and I’m worried. I need you to understand, as your teacher, I’m a resource for you. If you need help, please reach out to me. I - we, the school can help, we have plenty of resources if you need. Feminizing amale might have been beyond her imagination but she loved my soft non-masculinity if that can describe me before I put on a dress and heels."Angelica sat back now, "Okay, a glass of wine it will be Sara, " I think we'll need a bottle dear." We walked slowly across the Green.Later that evening I dropped her back at her car and we kissed, "You'llnot reconsider my offer?" No Angelica, I want my body to be settled. Two weeks, maybe three fromtomorrow I'll feel better and we can talk. Had she plunged a dagger in my heart, I would have felt less pain. Her slap tormented me for decades. Never had I felt such conflict of emotions, such ignited lust for her and, then, such heart breaking hurt. Never had I wanted her as much. Blown away, uplifted, and drifting away with love and what was to come, she made me high with her kiss but quickly deflated me with her slap. I reached out for her, but she stopped me with her hand pressed hard against my chest. ‘You take care of Arlene or.