This one is compliments of Johnnymax, a contrast to the MS Windows joke. a variation came to mind.Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit ...picking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."Husband texts back: "put in cider maker and crank up the pressure."Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."These are compliments Bill LBritish humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water. Slowly but steadily, the figure was making its way closer to the Dursleys' house. Dumbledore?, Harry thought, Or it could be someone...unfriendly. Harry grimaced at the thought, and, by reflex, slid his hand inside his jeans to grasp the handle of his wand. The figure stopped right at the gates to the Dursleys' front yard and muttered something. The small orb of light extinguished and Harry heard the footsteps of the figure shuffle along the path to the front door of the house. . She was so beautiful in the light of the fire. She looked into my eyes and softly asked me to make love to her. I took my time kissing her neck and cheeks. I would give her a soft kiss on her lips. She pulled me on top of her. This was no longer a little girl she had totally become a woman. I gently caressed her firm young breasts and slid my hand down her stomach to the top of her skirt. I slid my hand back up but under her top and to her bare breasts. Her breathing quickened and she started. I just stood by the rear most divider, pushing my naked, furry ass out, feeling the heat, sweat and lube caressing my hungry ass lips. Within 3 seconds, I had a hand exploring my hole in the dark, checking for tightness and lubrication. In one swift move, the hand was lifted and the plum headed cock started to probe for my warm opening. When the cock found it, It just slipped right in, a round, thick headed cockhead that started to frantically massage my insides, making me moan and arch my back.