They just are.The upshot is I decided to quit being angry. There’s no sense in being angry at myself for being unable to do the impossible. I’m ha...ppier. My problems still suck but I don’t feel a maelstrom tearing me apart. I can focus on healing and if that’s not possible I can focus on enjoying what time I have left as me.This last week I discovered CBD. I knew about it, but hadn’t tried it until my friend who’s a shrink talked me into it. Us former law enforcement/security types have an. He tossed my chunni away on the sofa in one corner of the room. Now I was in my lehnga and matching choli. I was looking down, because I was feeling shy to show my tight blouse without chunni to him. But he was enjoying it. I looked towards him from the corner of my eyes. I wanted to check his reactions. His eyes sort of popped out when he saw my full boobs hidden in my choli. It was so tight that my boobs were fighting to pop out from my choli. Then he held my hand and made me sit on the stool. With this thought I angled my hips upwards, taking him deeper. His head suddenly jerked back, his own pleasure being increased. A sadistic little smile crossed my mouth as I let out a little giggle. My victory wouldnt last long though. My rebellion had started a struggle for control that I would end up losing. Samuel quickly regained his composure and reached around my legs to start fondling my Clit. Damn, was the only word I managed to say before my mind blurred and my body took over. I was. I felt myself tensing and then getting stiff.The world went away and I cried out as every muscle in my body tensed. I was carried away to some other place and breathing became difficult. I remember that I was franticly gulping air as my orgasm finally subsided.I did not feel Ted's weight on me when I returned to where I had left, he was gone. I looked around and saw him kneeling next to me on the bed. He was staring at me wide eyed."I did not even enter you," he said. "You just bucked me off.