Exhaustion engulfed her, and her eyes began watering as she followed the arm of the device back and forth and back and forth. She didn’t understand ...the thing about raising her hand, but now, she was too tired to ask. Looking back on the experience, she couldn’t decide exactly at what point she fell asleep. She only knew that she was dreaming again, standing near one of the room’s walls, watching herself in the chair watching the metronome. The Cindy in the chair just sat there for the longest. Why do I bring this up? It’s part of the underlying process I’ve been going through. My illness has put me into a crash course. I’ve been sad the last few days. I don’t feel productive. I’ve been working about 10 hours a week. I did put in a full 8 yesterday. I hear people talking about their dreams and goals for the future and I can’t afford the pain of having any.When I wrote about being overwhelmed in the bank two chapters ago I didn’t mention that I was having full blown for lack of a. We are now fully tens for drink. After 3rd peg it’s make me headache. But i am not disclosing it to mom and Sima. Sima said mom your son now fully drug and has no speech in his mouth.Mom said now close this i am also fully drug and want to go bed. Sima said wait mom not yet finish another two peg is remaining. Mom said no my dear daughter i am unable to drink more. Sima makes another peg and we drink. After drink Sima asked mom you really no problem after father died. Mom said yes but what i do. Thelights and the television flickered, but didn’textinguish. She smiled and held up her right hand. Grasped betweenher fingers was a deck of cards, a diamond shaped redpattern gracing their backs. Carole swallowed twice, asif wondering if she should even be here. She seemed tocome to a decision. “Anyone know how to play poker?” We set up the battered old card table near the window.Claire wandered back to her room and returned with asilver can of pennies that jingled as she.