"* * *After a nice sandwich lunch I sat in front of the dressing table in theWhitmores' back room. She explained that this was actually the masterb...edroom - I had noticed this because it had an en suite - but she hadtaken it over for the LADS costume store. She and Arthur slept in thebiggest guest bedroom. She certainly needed the space in here, becausethe place was stacked from ceiling to floor with large, flat boxesmarked with the names of shows LADS had done. Presumably theycontained. Thodi der baad woh uthi aur washroom chali gayi, usne kuch ishara kiya per us waqt main samajh nahi sakka, aur thoda darr bhi gaya tha. Woh thodi der baad aayi, apane seat pe baith kar thoda sa pallu theek ki upar se, maine neeche dekha and my jaw fell in surprise, she was not wearing bra anymore. Mujhe uske cleavge ka itana accha view mila, jo maine aajtak nahi dekha tha. Main kafi der usse aise hi dekhta raha. Kuch der dekhne k baad main toilet mein jaakar muth maara 2-3 baar and aakar soo. She could feel her body mold to the power of the horse's powerful form. She felt as one with it, not a separate entity at all.They were together. It was at these moments that Lightning ceased to be a thing--HE BECAME A PERSON.They communicated. They understood one another. They were both beings, like spirits, you might say, housed in two different kinds of bodies.The fact that that made all the difference in the world did not occur to the naive and lovely Melanie Barker.Her rebellious spirit. There was still the recurring feeling of loss – loss of a happy and fulfilled way of life; of a loving relationship of some considerable depth; of Sally herself. That was sad and still depressing. There was still anger, because of her callous neglect of my feelings and her ignoring what she must have known I must be feeling. I was continually amazed that she could not even contact her own children.However, whereas in April, May and June these feelings had been acute and very painful, by now.