Later in the evening this was put to the test and as before, I was to be the sacrificial lamb.Sitting comfortably I was put through the 'Eyes getting ...heavy routine' and the limp arm, in fact everything I had witnessed, the countless times at the shows I used to go see as a young woman, with my girlfriends.John and Hubby were drunk and both were making a hash-up of it, but I played along as best I could, because as I said at the beginning, I wanted to see what John was like in control, of a. “Oh, Michelle, I’m so sorry, please talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” I say nothing; just press myself against you keeping my arms pulled tight up against my chest, almost as if it’s a wedge between us. *********** After what seemed like hours of complete silence and no movement I shift and look up into your eyes. “I love you.” I say. “Michelle what happened?” “Make love to me.” “Michelle, what’s wrong? You need to talk to me. ” you say in a slightly stern voice. “I can’t, it doesn’t. And don'tforget, I still had that same sense of not fitting in as well as therelief of having someone with whom I could fit.Getting dressed in a van under normal circumstances would be awkward.Doing it with unfamiliar clothing, and unfamiliar body, and with Joeleering at me was beyond awkward. Somehow, it was a relief to get intoa pair of panties: the simple reassurance of something that fit theright way and that, for want of a better word, protected the parts ofme that most needed protection.. He did not clean his room enough, you could eat from his floor it was spotless.Carrie tried to keep Steve home every night and he missed out on a lot of stuff.One Saturday morning, he showed up at my door and was really upset. He told me that he was going to spend the following week with his dad because he could not take it any longer. Carrie had found some porn magazine under his bed and went berserk. They had a huge fight and he announced that he was going to his father's for a while. Carrie.