So, it was only recently that I was presented with the over/under thirteen option. As many people are wont to do, I didn't bother learning any of the ...background reasoning that went into the decision that perturbed me. Instead, as a writer who has a number of stories on the shunned side of the new pedo ghetto line, I gave into outrage fueled by what I, in my ignorance, perceived to be censorship and punched out the following vile story.Later it occurred to me that there might be a good reason. ’ I gulped like a naughty schoolgirl caught buying cigarettes. She smiled knowingly as she rang up the sale and I handed over the cash. It wasn’t difficult for her to work out why I wanted ‘proper seamed stockings’ – was it? You never see anyone actually wearing them in the street, so she must have known I was going to have sex! I’m 37 and blushed at the thought. I was like a dog on heat for the rest of the day but decided against playing with myself as I wanted to be ravenous the next morning. "Thanks again, Brian. You really are a great guy. My hero."She got into one of the vans and when they saw their charges were all on board, Becc and Phyllis quit talking to my mom and drove away. So, that was what they were telling Mom."I was just in the right place at the right time," I said non-committedly. I just knew Mom wasn't going to let this alone."It makes me very proud to know these things about my son," she said. "It was more than accidentally being in the right place. It was fast. Would you like another cuppa Jules?’ ‘Yes please… two sugars.’ A few minutes later she returns with more tea. I carry on with the tale: ‘Anyway back in December, Thursday the 20th to be precise, I got a phone call from his wife telling me that he had died suddenly in the local post office – he was just seventy. She didn’t seem upset at all, in fact that morning he had got into an argument from a chap from the council who had been round to arrange the fitting of free double glazing. The agent.