I expect he was going to clean himself up, too, before he went to be with mom. Imagine that! I’d just had sex, sort of, with dad and he was going to... sleep with mom. I lay back and thought about it and fell asleep. I slept naked, for the first time I think, but certainly not the last. I didn’t clean myself up until the next morning. And I did do the laundry, just as daddy had suggested.That Sunday morning, after starting the laundry, dressed in a long red nightshirt, I went down to breakfast and. " How did you take that?" I guess it bothered me. Was it a lack of charm or am I too plain?" Neither," I responded. "You're beautiful and sexy and smart." But I wear my heart on my sleeve." Okay. That makes sense." He essentially said I lack cleverness and the will to manipulate. An image came to me when he said that. I remembered times living with Max when we argued and pushed buttons like all married people do. Except I saw myself manipulating him into anger and violence. I created my abuse!". .Now come on, get over here...”The giggle again, as you start to walk. You must’ve noticed what only a tiny part of me has noticed. I just said you’re not my doll, but that’s exactly the way I’m treating you…I grab your hand and pull you around the foot of your bed in front of your wardrobe. I stand right behind you, with one hand on your shoulder and the other draping the purple dress over your body, looking into the full-length mirror on the inside of the door. Looking at us in the mirror,. I made sure not to make a single sound; I didn’t even breathe, for fear of startling my precious. Once I was close enough, I would reach out, taking her by the hips and drawing her towards me before my free hand would pull the rag up to her face. She lets out a ruffled scream, before the chemical takes its hold, and she passes out in my arms. Oh, the thrill of it, the rush of adrenaline. The tingling feeling that coursed through every bone of my body. Even though I’ve done this once before, the.