But it was there, demanding to be fed. That night I did feed it, imagining his body on mine, his hands pressing me down. And not sure where this bit c...ame from but I could imagine him forcing me, disciplining me until I had control back again. So it went on for the next couple of months, whenever I saw a good looking man, and I would spend the night touching myself, my bed sweat-soaked and my pillow chewed through. For a time I had a boyfriend. Still only 19, I was a good girl, I was really. "Hild is twelve years younger than me." Jane didn't use the word year, she showed me by taking my palm and circling my palm twelve times. We weren't completely in the dark, there was a faint light coming in through the broken window into the cab. "She had only been married 20 days, her father had been killed and her mother taken on an earlier raid by the men from the west."Hild turned her head into my shoulder and burst out sobbing like a young baby, and cried "Oh Chally" and carried on crying.. I went into my room and turned on my tv and waited.It was late when I heard his footsteps outside my room. He had probably had more to drink and I heard him pause outside my room."Aimee? You awake?" Yeah. Come on in."He wandered in and sat on my bed. He stared at me a long time. I ignored him and kept flipping pages on my magazine. He was trying to build up his courage for something."Aimee. I um..."I was on my belly and I looked over my shoulder at him. He didn't say anything else. I went back. Jim and J.C. overruled me. Both men thought my nervousness was funny.It had been decided that I'd get the first twenty thousand pieces, and the remainder would be loaded onto the new delivery van and trucked over to Milwaukie, for Earle to place with one of his local grocery chains. I was really looking forward to that happening.I'd noticed, early on, that customers on my direct sales route who had purchased my products at retail from one of my commercial outlets, were anxious to get in on what.