And I'm writing this like a journal so I'm not on line.Retrospective means looking at the past ... my past. Introspective means looking inside yoursel...f. I think I'm doing both.I met someone today.I need to look inside myself to see how I feel about that. I need to look back at the day and see why I feel different than this morning.I think I found a friend.He's older ... lots older.He came off the tour boat in a power chair and ran off the slats into the sand. The slats: Daddy and The Twins. ” He tried to shut the door in my face but I kicked it back open, flinging him inside and that’s when I walked in- “Well sir, I really think you should sign up cause it’d be worth your while, you dig?”- And that’s also when I whipped out the .45, facing his front. “What the fuck is this Mafia bullshit, I’ll kick your fucking teeth in you prick!” he yelled as he reached for a bat, somewhere, on the cluttered table. I beat him to the thwack. Two .45 deposits unloaded in his shoulder and lung.. He was in that one-piece leather suit; completely enclosed, strapped and padlocked in, silenced, featureless to anyone seeing him. It was obvious to us that his Mistress had taken great care to have him like that. Mary must have thought as carefully about how he would look as about how he was to be restrained. She might have him dress that way because she likes how it looks or because she likes what it says about her and about him.”“Very good. And what do you think his perspective would be?”“He. She was impossible to live with after she became an alcoholic. The experience left my psyche so scarred that I avoided women like the plague. My sex life, consisting exclusively of voyeurism and masturbation, could best be described as unhealthy. Shortly after Carol came home, I received a mail order I had placed for several porno tapes. I always broke in new tapes with lengthy masturbation sessions, so I loaded the tape into the VCR, stripped off my clothes, and stretched out on my bed. In.