. well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replie...s: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not. ’ ‘Okay,’ you say non-convincingly. ‘What to do, what to do?’ you hear her wandering about the room presumably grabbing different items. Then you feel warm breath on your face. She must be hovering over you. The warmth is replaced by coldness as ice is traced across your forehead, down your nose and coats your lips. She removes the ice briefly to give you a kiss. The ice returns and runs down your neck across your chest to your left nipple. She draws circles around it until it’s nice and cold. I'm sure that a lot of women out there can't brag that their husband always makes sure they cum. Perhaps the only complaints I could lodge are that I still haven't been treated to the delights of a blowjob where my wife willingly swallows all my cum and that Janice adamantly refuses to kiss me after I've gone down and cleaned all my cum from her pussy.That's the only part of our sex life that's been frustrating – trying to win this running bet with my wife. I've tried lots of different things. Then her tongue was in me, pointy, firm, penetrating me. I thought, "Oh god, she's tongue fucking me." The pleasure was intense, the nerves so, so sensitive back there. On and on she licked me and milked me, forever. Finally she pulled away. "Hey baby, you got the sweetest little ass there," she giggled. "I'm going to open you up more now. I'll be gentle since you're not a slut yet." I felt cold slickness on my opening, pressure, and a slender finger gently pushed into me. It felt so big. She.