We kissed. Warm and slow. We kissed. Not with Summer's ferocious lustiness or Tamara's playfulness, but a passion all our own. We kissed.We kissed for... a long time. Mostly lips caressed lips, though mouths parted from time to time. I also went exploring, kissing her face and neck, though keeping quite high, avoiding any hint that this was the beginning of a seduction. We giggled at the accidental bump of noses. I pulled her into my lap and we kissed some more. We took breathers and just cuddled,. Laurie took the tray from the porter and winked knowingly at him, his mouth open and twitching slightly as though a thousand words had become log-jammed in his larynx and each was fighting to be the one that made it out. She turned and flicked the door closed before he had the chance to dazzle her with his smooth and confident wit, knowing he would probably replay the encounter for years, each time trying a new combination in his head that would end with the two of them in an illicit tryst.But. I'm convinced that men have a "biological clock" as well. When the fourth decade of life is reached, the clock alarms and brings to the forefront thoughts and images of things not yet accomplished in life. I'm a guy's guy; tough and manly. So, when I started having these thoughts, I tried to rationalize them. I love getting oral sex and my wife is terrific at giving. She says she really enjoys it and gets aroused doing it. I rationalized that my thoughts were just my way of trying to understand. If I needed it. A number of my fellow employees came to visit me at one time or another while I was in the hospital. That petered out over time, but I understood. Visiting people in hospitals is never fun. Half the time you're wondering if you might catch something while you're there.I had written to my ex-wife to explain my circumstances and arranged for the company to forward part of my disability to her as child and spousal support. I got a letter back from Diane saying she hoped I would.