.how to take a cock down your throat without gagging…how to lick an asshole…how to eat a cunt…and on and on…I saw into an endless tunnel of de...gradation leading far into the future. Pushing hard with his hands against the cushion, he levered himself up and stepped past me. ‘Turn and watch,’ he demanded, as he undid his black tie and peeled off his clothes. I have already said that I had up to then only been intimate with four men, so it is not much to say that I had never seen anything like his. She was so excited.The rest of the week was a blur. Each night I would go to her apartment, we would have sex and then she would drive me home. Mum thought it was great that I had a friend. I thought it was great because she opened a bedside table draw and introduced me to a huge range of sex toys. Each night she would drop me off making me promise to take her to the breeding farm on Saturday. And every night I would kiss her goodnight and promise.Saturday arrived and Teena arrived just after. I explained things to mother and had her get a few rooms in a hotel. I also went to do a little shopping of my own. I'd seen a couple of sharp's rifles for sale in one of the stores where we'd bought supplies. It was a 45-70 and they had plenty of ammunition for it. I bought it and two thousand rounds.The next day mother and I went to the courthouse while the lawyer did his thing. The judge put the case off for a week so the squatters would have time to hire an attorney and show up in court.It. The world, the whirling stars... I can feel themotion of all the heavens. For an instant, there is adawning of truth. Like the mirrored reflection on placidwaters is an illusion of the material world, so thatmaterial world is a mirrored illusion of the spirit world.It is so simple and clear.I vomit. It is an inconsequential action of the crudeflesh. I feel my body now very clearly as a tool, a vessel for my soul and nothing more. A vessel of clay, stillmalleable. Our bodies are no more solid.