Running to the bridge at the end of the garden to wave at the trains passing on the branch line, pretending to be railway children and hoping for an o...ld gentleman to come and save us from imagined poverty and a father who was too often absent.All these memories came pouring back as I sat in the passenger seat of the Volvo on our way to the farm, and yet when we arrived it was so different and yet so much the same that I felt conflicting emotions.I tried to capture the images on camera but. That I shouldn'tworry, you aren't queer, you're only a crossdresser, and so on andso on, all the rest of it. That was so sweet, your telling me allthose things so shyly, so fearfully, and so soon after ourmarriage! You were so embarrassed!"I remembered that moment very well. I was terrified, yet this wasmy wife, my new bride, and I wanted her to know everything about methat mattered, everything that could be known, no matter what. Iwas so sure she'd forbid me all such behavior, maybe even. ‘Sure, but we can get back to the books after dinner. There’ll be plenty of time this evening, and it’ll be easier to work when it’s cooler.’ A sheen of perspiration was visible on Kate, and I was keenly aware that this rendered the exposed inner swells of her breasts even more prominent than they otherwise would have been. The word that kept coming to mind was ‘succulent.’ They were wondrously, mouth-wateringly succulent. ‘Look her in the eyes, look her in the eyes,’ I told myself, determined. In the predawn light I could barely make out the Malibu pier ahead on my left as I veered away, always keeping a cautious watch for discarded fishing lines. Chemical runoff, discarded nets, and fishing paraphernalia often washed up on the beach. Disgusted I shook my head, at least the occasional jellyfish was a natural danger I could sometimes avoid. I’ve swum in the ocean long enough to know more often human kind not the sharks and other ocean inhabitants pose the most danger. Man is more.