He just told me he wants to fuck me, and yet he calls me babydoll. He kisses me on the lips and yet says 'good night pumpkin' like it was any other ni...ght.I thought I'd never fall asleep. The things I felt today, and the yearning to sleep in my father's arms, it all makes me so frustrated and guilty, but the next thing I know my alarm clock tells me it's morning. Damn thing! I forgot to cancel it. On the other hand, the earlier I get up, the more I have Dad all to myself.JamesI roll over and sit. I went there on a Wednesday. I parked in a lot and walked toward a big, slow-moving creek that wound its way into the lake. I knew that it was deep. My heart began to beat faster; I can't swim, and am terrified of drowning. But in a strange way, this fear is also a turn-on. I can't explain it. Maybe it's the helplessness, the vulnerability, which in my dreams leads to the best part: my handsome hero. As I approached the creek bank, my heart beat even faster. There he was! A few hundred feet. The church doesn't...wouldn't...would never permit a thing like that. There are guidelines...regulations...rules about penitence. It wouldn't be Catholic.??We both know that's not true, Father. Christ himself was scourged for our sins. The church has a long history of self-flagellation and flagellating others. Look at all the saints who were flagellated. George, Jerome, Easmus–?The priest interrupted her. ?You've done your homework, haven't you???Yes, Father.??But it doesn't matter. You're no. ”****Outside of the courthouse I squinted in the sunlight that reflected harshly off the white stone of the buildings. I didn’t quite stumble down the steps but almost; I was still sick to my stomach.A blue Sentra pulled up to the curb where I was about to cross the street to hire a cab that I’d noticed stationed there. Winnie had driven me down, but I had opted to not have her drive me back. I needed to be alone.“Get in nephew,” said my Aunt Delia. Delia Carter, matriarch of the clan since my.