I said, “Karen, you know. Explain it ‘all’ to him. Lisa and I must help and direct.”Karen’s eyes were big as saucers then went dreamy for a ...second. Brightly, she said, “John, have I got a story to tell you!”Lisa said, “There are benches out back. Go!” They left with Karen taking John’s hand and pulling him with her. He wasn’t fighting her tugs. Lisa said, “That’s a romance that just might blossom a bit. They’re good kids.”We got involved in the moving process. Our bed frame had been set up and. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used. I spread my legs and rubbed my clit asking him if he wants this pussy. He replied yes trying to lick it. I pushed his head away saying I didn't give you permission yet so start back down at my feet and start over again. As he kissed my thighs he asked permission to lick and suck my wet pink throbbing pussy that was anticipating his magical mouth that is so very talented. As he licked and sucked my pussy I told him to earn release he has to edge me 10 times without making me cum. If I do cum. I knew it will not help me get rid of the lust I have for her. I knew it may make things worse. But such was the state of my mind, I was not able to even convince myself to choose between right and wrong. I was going to study, but only to be with my mother.All I wanted was a valid reason to be with my mother. I was craving for her body, but I just could not accept it myself. I knew it was wrong, and wanting her help to prepare for the exams, was my way of trying to make a wrong right. I was not.